HONOR YOUR MOTHER (EPH 6:2-3)

MOTHER’S DAY

GCEFC: MAY 10, 2009

INTRODUCTION

1. Fred had just recently died. His will provided $30,000 for a very elaborate funeral. Fred wanted the best.

2. As the remaining guests left the church after the funeral and reception, Patty turned to her oldest and dearest friend, Joan, and said, “Well I’m sure Fred would be pleased.

3. “I’m sure you’re right,” replied Joan, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. “So— how much did this actually cost”? “Every bit of it,” said Patty, “the entire $30,000.”

4. “NO WAY”, said Joan. “I mean it was nice and all, but $30,000”?

5. Patty answered, “The funeral was $6500. I donated $500 to the church. The refreshments were $500. And the remainder went to the memorial stone.”

6. Joan quickly calculated, “$22,500 for a memorial stone? My goodness, how big is it? Patty answered, “Two and a half carats.”

7. That story has little to do with my sermon today. But seeing as it’s Mother’s Day, I thought you ladies might enjoy it.

8. I don’t know how you feel about Mother’s Day. Not everyone feels the same way about it. Some see it as a Hallmark conspiracy to get us into their stores to buy their cards.

9. It worked on me this year. They’ve collected quite a bit of my money over the years.

10. Others see Mother’s Day as a commercial conspiracy. A way to get fathers into restaurants, and flower shops, and candy stores. And lingerie stores for the more daring and the more self-assured of us.

11. For some, Mother’s Day is less than pleasant. A painful reminder that they’re not moms even though they want to be. They may not have met the right man. Or they may be unable to conceive. Or their marriage may have ended before children came.

12. It’s a day that’s not easy to get through and many choose to avoid the public so they can avoid the pain and the awkwardness.

13. Still for others Mother’s Day is painful because their own mother was less than exemplary as a mother. You can usually say that mom did the best she could. But what do you say when mom clearly did not do the best she could?

14. And for some it’s a painful day because their mother is no longer here. And even with the best of memories there’s a void and emptiness with her being gone.

15. But for the vast majority, Mother’s Day is a great day. A day of celebration. A day of joy. A day of fun. A day of recognizing all it means to be a mother. All it means to have a mother. All it means to be married to a mother.

16. But it seems to me that the predominant reason for Mother’s Day. And the most important aspect of Mother’s Day. And the greatest opportunity afforded by Mother’s Day is simply this. It’s a day to honor your mother. It’s a day to honor all moms.

17. Even the cynics can see the value in that. Even those with no sentimental genes at all can see the place for honoring those so important to our lives as our moms.

A. A REMINDER OF WHAT MOMS DO

1. So why honor moms? What makes moms honorable? Well, let’s start at the very beginning. The very beginning being that your mom carried you in her body 40 weeks!

2. If that was ALL your mom did for you it would be a major accomplishment. What have you men carried for 40 weeks? Not counting a grudge. Or a balance on your credit card.

3. Your mom provided everything you needed for your first 9 months. The oxygen, the blood supply, the nutrients for growth, protection from cuts, bruises, and scrapes.

4. She provided the ideal environment when the outside world would have been too harsh.

5. But it hardly stopped there. Aside from the hospital staff, your mom was probably the first person to feed you, change your diaper, hold you, rock you, and speak to you.

6. She bathed you, kept you warm or cool, protected you from hazards, and saw that you got your rest even as she forfeited her own.

7. And for the first several years of your life, your mom was indispensable to your well being. Practically everything you needed your mom provided.

8. Practically everything you learned, your mom taught you. Practically every minute of every hour of every day your mom was there and available for your every need.

9. Yes, I know you dads contributed too, but this is Mother’s Day—so chill. Not only have countless moms done this for countless centuries in countless places. But your mom did this for you… personally.

B. HONORING IS A BIBLICAL COMMAND

1. So let’s spend a few minutes in God’s Word on Mother’s Day. Specifically EPH 6:2-3.

2. There are principles and concepts common to both the Old and New Testaments. It was Augustine who said: The New is in the old concealed and the Old is in the New revealed.

3. New Testament truth was in the Old Testament, but it was veiled and hidden. Old Testament truth is not only IN the New Testament, but the mystery is explained there.

4. But sometimes the Old Testament and the New Testament have virtually the same statements. When this happens, you know you’re on to an extra important concept.

5. Such is the case in EPH 6:2-3. Way back in EXO 20:12 we read: Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

6. This was the Fifth of the Ten Commandments. It was the first commandment that dealt with the relationships of God’s people to other people.

7. The first 4 Commandments address our relationship with God. The last 6 deal with our relationships with people.

8. But many Jewish scholars say that the Ten Commandments were divided into 5 tables of 5 Commandments each. Not 4 and 6 but 5 and 5.

9. This was because they believed that the Fifth Commandment, to honor your father and mother, was foundational and integral to a child’s future relationship with God.

10. They believed if a child was not raised with a healthy respect and healthy obedience and honor of their parents—then their relationship with God could be permanently marred.

11. This rings true because we know that a child’s fundamental beliefs about God are formed as they watch and interact with their parents.

a. They understand justice as they observe their parents.

b. They understand forgiveness and grace as they interact with their parents.

c. They comprehend authority and obedience through the formative years with their parents.

d. They come to know love and caring concern through their parents’ example.

12. The ancients believed that honoring your father and mother was so fundamental to what life is all about—that it either paves the way for later saving faith, or it makes saving faith elusive and very difficult to find.

13. It would be impossible to overstate the importance of the role of a mother and father in the physical, social, mental, and spiritual development of children.

14. So we move 2,000 years into the future and come to EPH 6:2-3: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother—which is the first commandment with a promise—that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

C. HOW DO CHILDREN HONOR THEIR MOM?

1. Whether you’re 3 years old or 73 years old, the commandment to honor your father and your mother applies. But it doesn’t look the same.

2. A child honors his father and his mother in one primary way: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

3. Children honor their parents by obeying them. Children honor their parents by submitting to their God-ordained authority.

4. There are no qualifiers given here because qualifiers would miss the point. The principle is that in a Christian family. In a home where Christ is Savior and Lord—children are called to obey…period.

5. If they don’t, then the God-sanctioned pattern is violated. A child who is disobedient and non-submissive at heart launches himself on a trajectory that is truly frightening.

6. This is because obedience and submission to authority is the most foundational concept to grasp in all of life. It impacts everything else.

7. When a person doesn’t understand the place of submission to duly delegated authority, their life will either be one disaster after another. Or one big disaster down the road.

8. God has woven this principle into the very fabric of the universe. It’s found everywhere. And it’s found throughout the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.

9. Notice how significant this principle is: Honor your father and your mother—which is the first commandment with a promise. That should tell us something right there.

10. And look what the promise is: That it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Paul changes “land” to earth because the promise is now extended beyond the nation of Israel that occupied the land of promise.

11. Of course, this not a quid-pro-quo promise. That everyone who honors their mother and father will live to a ripe old age. The Bible doesn’t make those kinds of promises.

12. It’s saying that the obedience of children to their mother and father. And the honoring of mother and father by children of whatever age they happen to be.

13. That this pattern is so foundational to a family, to a nation, and to a society. That living it out is essentially a certainty that life will go well for those who follow it.

14. God has so designed life to reflect this basic concept of obedience and humble submission to authority that he will make it his business to bless those who honor it.

15. Parents have 2 basic responsibilities when it comes to raising children. Here they are:

a. First—to teach them truth principles as revealed in the Law of God and the Bible.

b. If you choose some other source of principles to teach, you’ll find yourself constantly adjusting to the whims and fluctuating values of society.

c. The timeless truths are always timely. It’s the timely truths that are unreliable.

d. And…second—children must be held accountable to the truth principles you teach. If they violate them—they should be punished so they’ll learn.

e. If they don’t know what truth is—they’ll struggle their entire lives. So you must teach them truth. If they know what truth is, but there are no consequences for violating it—they’ll struggle their entire lives. They will never quite get it.

16. If every parent in our church followed just these 2 principles, our families and our church would be transformed.

17. This is not simplistic. And if you violate these fundamental principles as a parent, you’ll end up having to devote your time and energy and resources to remedial measures.

18. Remedial measures are harder, they take longer, they’re more painful, and often they do not work. It’s like the old adage about closing the barn door. Closing the barn door is so much easier than rounding up the livestock in the fields.

19. Children have one foundational, overarching, bedrock, non-negotiable calling throughout their childhood. And that is to humbly submit to their parents and obey them. It will be the most important and the best choice they will ever make.

D. HOW DO ADULTS HONOR THEIR MOM?

1. So children honor their mother by obeying her. By learning the godly biblical principles they’re taught. And by obeying them and accepting the consequences of disobedience.

2. But what about us older children? How do we honor our parents? How do we honor our mom? Certainly not by obedience. That’s the role of a child.

3. Adults honor their mother and father in several ways:

a. By showing them respect. Not because they’re perfect—because they’re your parents. You aren’t a perfect parent yourself and never will be.

b. By regular communication with them. By letting them know what’s happening in your life and finding out what’s happening in theirs. By talking with them.

c. By spending time with them when you can. It’s not easy when you’re hundreds of miles away as I am. But you do what you can.

d. By deferring to them when you can do so. By not always demanding your own way.

e. By caring for them when the time comes to do so. However you appropriately do that.

4. There are many things that contribute to the blessed life. But never underestimate the contribution that this biblical principle and command does. Honor your father and your mother—which is the first commandment with a promise—that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

5. In a sense we honor all moms just because they’re moms. But we especially honor those today who took their calling seriously, and who lived it out so well—including the 2 moms who have impacted me the most—my own mom, and the mom I’m married to.

6. Happy Mother’s Day, moms.